From the weird wildlife news file: A groundhog in New Jersey recently ran afoul of the local authorities and had to be pepper sprayed. It seems a groundhog – some people call it a woodchuck, but I call it a groundhog – attacked a homeowner as he was trying to reach his truck in the garage. The resident called police and two officers attempted to trap the animal. But, the groundhog went on the offensive forcing one officer to pepper spray the rodent so it could be snared. You can read the full account here.

I choked. No excuses to be made, the flat-out, honest truth is I choked.

The big 10 was standing broadside at no more than 25 yards and I choked.

On an archery hunt last year at the Turley Ranch in Oklahoma I left the stand a little early and waited for my ride to pick me up at the designated drop point, within eyesight of the stand I had been sitting in. The deer had all left the field I was hunting and I figured the action was over for the morning. That was my first mistake.

The second mistake came when the heavy 150-ish deer I had dreamed of came charging at me chasing a group of does. Sitting on a two-track with my bow packed, they spooked and went up the hill behind me. As my pulse quickened, I fumbled with shaky hands to nock and arrow and snuck up the other side of the hill, hoping to get a shot on the big 10.

When I slowly crested the top of the hill, all I could see were horns above the grass and inched slowly onto my knees for a shot. Not knowing exactly what I was, the does were hesitant, but didn’t spook, and the big boy stood broadside at no more than 25 yards.

As a bowhunter, this was a dream come true. Huge deer, spot and stalk well within shooting range.

Problem was, I choked. I didn’t even try to draw my bow. Simply sat there and watched, dumbfounded, knowing in the back of my mind I should try the shot but couldn’t seem to get my body to react to the screaming little man in my head. Some people would call this Buck Fever. I simply call it a lesson on what not to do.

When I got back to camp, the question was posed to me by one of the veteran hunters in the group: “If you had stayed in the stand, would the deer have come by?” At the time, my answer was no. But the more I think about it, the more I realize that’s probably exactly what would have happened.

I still kick myself for not attempting the shot and each time I relive the encounter the buck takes the shot hard, runs 30 yards and crumples. Or I stay in the stand and get the same result. But, that’s what dreams are, I guess, ways to relive the shots we should’ve taken.

I wish my targets were more like a major-league catcher. Crouched, ready for the pitch from the mound, the pitcher knowing full well his man behind the plate will do everything in his power to keep the ball from reaching the backstop. Only the backstop in this analogy is my blackberry thicket, the catcher my target. But alas, targets aren’t like a catcher and only work when I do my job. As stated before, many a good arrow has lost its life to the proverbial blackberry thicket backstop.

I’ve had several targets throughout my bow-shooting career, and I remember fondly shooting at an old glob of foam that sat in the yard of my boyhood home. It stood like a small, yellowish mountain in our side yard and dad and I would spend afternoons shooting, pulling little bits of foam out with each shot.

Targets have come a long way since then and by far one of the best on the market is the Block. Manufactured by Field Logic, the Block target in my yard has taken years of punishment from yours truly. It sits out in the heat of South Carolina summers, the not-so-harsh winters and every season in between. And believe it or not, I’ve placed thousands of arrows in the target and some sides are worse for wear than others.

Along with the shooting and weather, insects have even taken up residence, much to my chagrin. I picked up the target to move it recently and received a rude awakening as the bottom came alive with fire ants. Out of a perfect, tiny hole in the bottom of the target they came, marching to swarm whatever had disrupted them. With the fire ants taken care of, I continued to shoot the target and to this day the arrows don’t penetrate more than a few inches.

The people at Field Logic even put the technology to use on a 3D model called the GlenDel Full Rut. I haven’t had the Full Rut quite as long as my Block, but it has taken its share of abuse, nonetheless. This spring, a wren was determined to build its nest in the target and started not one, not two, but three holes. The bird would sit atop the target’s fake ear and mock me while I was at full draw, flying off each time an arrow would hit the target, only to come back again and repeat.

Once the cats noticed the bird, they would sit on the deer’s back, waiting for the bird to make its exit. (And you wonder why I have lost so many arrows…) Not wanting to have feathers all over my target, or have to explain to my wife why I had to bury one of the cats when my arrow “missed” the target, I thought it best to put it up until the wren had made a nest elsewhere. Needless to say, the wren and cats are all alive, and the target is standing 30 yards from my shooting spot.

My point: With weather, insects, birds and thousands of shots, the targets are still my go-to in the back yard. The new Block models last longer, arrows are easier to remove and they can handle arrows speeds from the fastest bows on the market. If you haven’t had a chance to shoot one, check them out at www.fieldlogic.com.

So here it is, the first installment of Coffey Break. I’ve joined the ranks of the computer savvy – and every high school, middle school and preschool student in America – by starting my own blog. (I think my 4-year-old has one.) But that’s OK. My wife tells me I don’t act my age anyway, so this is only fitting.

Here on Coffey Break, you’ll get to know a little bit about me, if you don’t already. The basics: My name is Matt Coffey and I’m the Managing Editor of Sporting Classics magazine. I’m an avid bowhunter and love to spend my weekends and afternoons during deer season in a treestand. When season’s not in, I spend a good deal of time in the backyard trying to hit my practice targets. Most of the time, my success rate is directly proportional to whether one of our three cats is at my feet begging to be pet when I’m at full draw or how many mosquitoes are buzzing in my ear. The more cats and mosquitoes, the more misses. Pretty simple. But, I figure if I can break black on targets with all that going on, I’m a shoo-in for a double-lung shot in the woods. I also rely on the advice of others to help me out and without my bow guru I’d be at a loss. But, thankfully, I have a good support network to give me a hard time when I screw up, which is often. You’ll learn all about it in upcoming posts.

Speaking of posts, here’s what you can expect: I’ll tell on myself quite a bit here with stories like how I shot a wooden chair sitting 3 feet to the left of the target I was aiming at (my bow wasn’t tuned, I promise) or how the blackberry thicket behind my house has become a place where good arrows go to die. You’ll also read gear reviews on products I can’t live without.

And let’s not forget about newsworthy wildlife news like this gem from New York. It’s a little old, but pretty darn funny: Turkey Lands In Manure Truck, Causes Crash. It seems that an unsuspecting truck driver was minding his own business driving down the road when a wild turkey somehow managed to fly through an open window and ended up inside the cab of the truck. While trying to shoo the bird out of the truck, the driver ran off the road and crashed. Neither the driver nor the turkey was hurt. I’ll leave the comments open, just remember to keep it clean, please.

Thanks for visiting Coffey Break and I hope you’ll return soon to share in my agonies, triumphs and life in general as a bowhunter.