I wanted to advise readers of a new, and quite possibly dangerous, disease researchers have just uncovered in the hunting/outdoor community. It’s called Offseason Gear Deficiency Syndrome or OGDS. Researchers found people suffering from the disease all share one trait in common, best summed up with the quote “When I can’t hunt anything else, why not take a shot at my wallet?”
Symptoms include finding something on every page of Cabela’s, Bass Pro, Midwest Turkey Call Supply or L.L. Bean catalogs they “need” and “can’t live without.” Spouses of those afflicted with OGDS report a lot of drooling occurs when said catalogs arrive in the mail.
Spouses also revealed they try to stave off the onset of the disease during the late winter months by getting to the mailbox first and discarding the catalogs. This only leads to looks of bewilderment, however, from OGDS sufferers when their hunting buddies – also OGDS sufferers – start talking about the “great new turkey vest on pg. 46.”
Luckily, there’s hope. Just like any addiction, the first step in recovery is admitting you’ve got a problem. One OGDS survivor has agreed to tell his story here. Of course, his name has been redacted from his original statement to protect his privacy – and keep him out of the doghouse.
My name is, well my name isn’t important, but I have a problem. It’s called Offseason Gear Deficiency Syndrome; when I can’t hunt anything else, I take a shot at my wallet.
The offseason is slow – I would imagine golfers feel the same way, well anyone other than Tiger – so an addicted archery junkie has to fill the time somehow.
There aren’t enough 3D shoots anymore, you can only read books, magazines and surf the Web so much, so what am I supposed to do? You plan for next season and that means trying new gear or fixing up old stuff. For me it usually comes down to a couple of new recurves joining the collection.
I know I would shoot better sticking to just one but that’s simply impossible for me. Besides someone has to keep the economy rolling, right? Maybe my small part means some bowyer or retailer or average Joe makes it through another week. And I get a new toy. There really aren’t any losers here….as long as I stay employed and my wife doesn’t get the bank statement before I do, anyway.
Therapists say the first step in recovery is admitting you have a problem, just like our anonymous addict above. If you’re unsure if you, your hunting buddy or spouse is an OGDS sufferer, take a look at the symptoms list below.
1. You look at every hunting/fishing catalog that comes in the mail cover to cover while walking from the mailbox to the front door.
2. You continue to look at said catalog for the next week, planning how and when you will purchase each item.
3. You repeat the phrase “If I had (insert product name here), then I could kill (insert species name here).
4. You hide your new purchases in the garage, away from your spouse so they won’t ask how much it cost or why you need another one.
5. You have more than one of any gadget or product and never use any of them.
6. You have a “special” bank account that no one else but you knows about, just so you can purchase hunting gear anytime you want.
7. The balance of the bank account mentioned above never has more than $20 for longer than 3 days.
If you answered “yes” or can relate to any of the above symptoms, then you should seek help immediately, preferably by getting into the woods on the first legal date of hunting season. If needed, travel to another state where the season opens sooner is an approved method in the recovery process.
For more information about OGDS, contact your local sporting goods, bow shop or fellow hunter for support.
